The Cullen Boys
by WhatWePlayIsLife
Summary: One Shot Rated G. Just a night with the boys x


**Heyy. First story. Just something I did when I was bored. Please review! P.S : I know that it says in the book that vamps can't get drunk but... :P **

**I do not own any of this: Wish I did! **

Jasper laughed as he popped the cap off of another beer. He'd never really been the 'drinking' type, but when he was in Emmett's company, on a Friday night the task was mandatory. Emmett was his favourite adopted brother. He could just let loose and have fun with him. Edward was always off with the human; Bella. Jasper could tolerate the girl, but after all the trouble she'd caused he couldn't honestly say that he liked her. And there was also the fact that Jasper actually liked living in Forks and there was a chance that the family would have to move if Edward accidently killed her. Not that he'd miss her a great deal. He'd never met anyone with less of a personality than she possessed.

"Let's go out" Emmett suggested as he grabbed his seventh beer.

"Erm Where?" Jasper replied. In one swift movement Emmett jumped onto the table, knocking empty beer bottles flying.

"Anywhere my man! The world is our oyster!" he shouted.

Jasper laughed again and downed his beer. By now he was feeling pretty lightheaded.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen, get the hell off of my table, NOW!" Esme screamed.

Emmett slipped and fell backwards off of the table. Jasper doubled over in laughter. Once he started he couldn't stop. That's when the Kill joy came in.

"Grow up you two" Edward snarled.

Emmett got up, stumbling twice as he did and faced Edward. "You grow up!"

Jasper laughed, "Dude, worse comeback, ever!"

Emmett shot him an annoyed look and turned back to Edward. "You know what Eddy, Since you got with Bella, Ha Eddy, Ha silly name....wait... What was I...er"

Jasper sniggered "You were saying that since Ed got with Bella..." He vaguely noticed that his and Emmett's speech was beginning to sound slurred.

"Aw Yeah" Emmett said, "Thanks Jazz. Yeah, So Yeah, like said" He slurred "Ever since you got with the tree girl, you've been like, even more of a dick that usual!"

Edward's eyes filled with anger and frustration. "What the hell? Tree girl?" Edward snapped.

"Oh, just a little nickname that I thought suited her. Cause she like has, the personality of a tree, no maybe less, yeah, less" Emmett began to giggle frantically. Edward let out a noise that resembled a growl and launched at Emmett. Emmett ducked swiftly to the side and out of the front door. "Catch me if yyou can Eddy!" Emmett yelled. Edward dashed out of the front door after Emmett. Esme stuck her head around the door frame and glared at Jasper.

"Go and get them. Now!" Esme commanded.

Esme was scary when she was mad. Jasper pushed himself up and ran out of the door after Edward and Emmett. He could hear Emmett's distant taunts and Edward's threats. He tripped more than once but still reached a fairly high speed. He caught up with them faster than he would have anticipated. Emmett was still laughing. Edward backed him towards a tall tree with a thick trunk looking livid. Emmett turned and stared at the tree. "Oooo Climb time. Come on Jazz" Emmett yelled.

A wide smile spread across Jaspers face as he hurried towards Emmett who has hauled himself onto the first branch. He had almost reached him when Emmett's arm shot out in front of him. "Don't be so childish, why stoop to his level Jasper?" Edward scolded. Jasper scowled but he was too happy to be annoyed with Edward, after all, he was always like this. "Don't be such a killjoy" Jasper said with a smile. Edward looked offended and he lowered his hand. "I'm not a kill joy" he protested.

"Prove it!" Emmett yelled. He was now at least six feat of the ground. Jasper shot Edward a cheeky smile and began to scale the tree as Emmett had. He found it a lot harder to climb when he was drunk that when he was sober. Within minutes he reached the very top of the tree and perched on the same branch as Emmett. He and Emmett looked down to see Edward still stood at the bottom of the tree looking up at them. "Awww Eddy's scared!" Emmett yelled. "Am not!" Edward yelled back "I'm just mature"

Emmett broke into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. Jasper notice that the branch they were on was feeling a little less stable, but he figured that this was the drink taking over. He began to laugh along with Emmett. Then there was an almighty crack. The branch came away from the tree and Emmett and Jasper began to plummet towards the ground. As they fell Emmett began to cheer and Jasper just laughed. They hit the ground with huge impact that would have killed a human ten times over. Emmett rolled onto his back and pointed at Edward. "Eddy is blurry" Emmett giggled. Jasper got to his feet laughing and pulled Emmett off the ground. Edward looked pleased with himself. "Typical" he sniggered.

"Shut up" Emmett yelled.

"Yeah nobody likes you. Friendless virgin" Jasper said. It took him a few seconds to realise what he said before he exploded in laugher, joined by Emmett. Edward turned and ran into the woods, leaving Emmett and Jasper to be awesome without him.

**Thank You for reading!**

**Please review!**

**. xx**


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